The Fertility Ironman

My husband is training for an Ironman in May.  For those of you who don’t know what that is, it’s a 2 1/2 mile swim, a  112 mile bike ride, and a marathon all in one day (hopefully).   

I, personally, am in training for the Fertility Ironman.  That consists of a combination of sex, IUIs, and IVFs.  The quantity of sex, IUIs, and IVFs doesn’t matter– you just have to be able to do all 3 sports and live to tell.

Just as the Ironman, the Fertility Ironman takes hours, days, months and years of training.  In order to train, one must practice severe emotional swings– happy one minute, depressed, almost suicidal, the next.   This usually occurs without warning, and the most fit Fertility Ironman participator can ride the roller coaster of emotions with their arms held high in the air for optimum excitement. 

Also, essential in the Fertility Ironman is the ability to change subjects when the C-word (“Children”) or P-word (“Pregnancy”) comes into play.  Avoiding tears in public situations and work meetings becomes almost a daily warm-up.  And don’t forget to stretch — the hallmark act of pretending to be “fine”.

Anyone else want to participate with me?

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