Can the days please go faster?

Tuesday seems like it’s 8 million years away.  I’ve stared at the HPTs, but I haven’t used them.  I think world war III would break out at my house if I took one early.  The husband is pretty adament about me waiting.  Last time, I took one early and got a negative.  I fell into my deep, dark depression.  Then two days later, I took another one (still early).  Positive.  Ran up to the clinic to get bloodwork.  Preggos.  Then, well, we know what happened.  I hate talking about it.

My co-worker brought in her baby, AGAIN, to work.  It’s so hard being around her.  I don’t know what to say or do.  I ache so badly.  We ended up talking about houses.?. Here’s this newborn, and all I want is for her to leave my office… with that “thing” that haunts me.  Ms. Negative has come back.

I want to jump on a plane and snatch up an orphan in Haiti.  Anyone want to come?  I’m serious.  I just don’t know how to perform such a task.  I guess what’s stopping me is the glimmer of hope that I can have my own child.  I’m already a mom (stepdaughter), but we all know I didn’t give birth to her.  Something about giving birth and having a baby grow inside of you……


1 Comment

  1. misterivf said,

    January 25, 2010 at 3:13 am

    that 2 weeks is tough. It completely overtakes your mind. Hang in there, stay as chilled as you can and I really hope for the best for you guys.

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