I’m struggling….

I went out and bought a pack of 3 HPTs.  I showed my husband, who then got a bit upset.  He wants me to promise him I won’t take a test earlier then the date I’m supposed to.  Uh, obviously he doesn’t know me too well.  We women wanting children will pee on any stick, anywhere, any time.  I said I couldn’t promise him.  That made him a bit mad, but I’m being honest.  Now I’m scared to POAS.  I know, I’m supposed to have hope, faith, and positive thinking.  I can tell I’m struggling with everything, because I’m wanting to go back into my “cave”.  Hide from everyone.  Don’t talk about anything that has to do with kids.  I can’t watch tv shows or movies that mention “mommy” or show little babies, otherwise I’ll cry.  The cave protects me from what I fear.

Right now I’m watching Superman Returns.  Louis Lane had a kid with Superman from sleeping with him one night.  WTH?  Obviously, she’s not 40.  Today at work I think I googled every site under the sun regarding taking HPTs after 5 day transfers.  Numerous people got positives 5dp5dt.  Gulp.  Do I dare?


1 Comment

  1. T said,

    January 19, 2010 at 4:31 pm

    Don’t you dare! That’s the cardinal rule! It’s really just too early. They can also give you a false negative. What were you thinking buying those things? I saw your words of encouragement on my site. Thank you :)!

    I really think it’s the progesterone that’s making you crazy. Are you on the pills?
    The pills really did a number on me because they made me sleepy and depressed. And they do make you feel like crawling into a cave. You get very emotionally spent on progesterone. I thought that I was loosing my mind until I started to read the side effects.

    There’s really no reason that this shouldn’t work for you. You’ve had a positive before. That’s important. I’ve never had a positive before. God only knows what my issue might be. Your “positive” at least insures that you are able to get pregnant. Try to take your mind off of it if that’s possible. Since your mother is aware of you having a procedure talk to her. Have her call several times a day just to remind you not to test. Technically you are pregnant right now. Maybe you’ll end up with triplets!

    So be good and NO cheating! Give those sticks to you DH!


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